FOR A MUSIC VIDEO VERSION OF MY “ABOUT ME”

Capybaras and I have a few things in common, starting with the fact that we’re both from Brazil. So here are a few things we share:

A group of capybaras is called a herd. My name has a total of 40 letters, pretty much a herd of syllables. But, for the sake of simplicity, you can call me Tallita.

Somehow, capybaras ended up in Japan, where they can be seen chilling in onsens. I also ended up in Japan, where I lived for 10 years.

Capybaras don’t judge, they coexist.
When I was a waitress at a Tokyo strip club, I had to look at boobies all night. No judgment here either. Just kept refilling drinks.

Capybaras are famously chill, they’ll sit perfectly still while monkeys or birds groom them, picking off whatever needs picking.
I studied dog grooming and Brazilian waxing, same vibe, different species. I never went pro, but I did help in three dog surgeries. They all survived. No one flinched. Not even me.

Capybaras can stay in one spot for hours, sometimes even sleeping underwater.

I used to work in a factory 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, standing in the same spot for years. I actually learned how to nap while standing.

Capybaras are natural wanderers. They break into places they don’t belong, like pools, parks, and malls. I once got out of an airplane in the wrong country and had to sleep in jail for three days.

One time, I became friends with two guys who were trying to rob me. They helped me get home safe.

Capybaras are so friendly that even predators leave them alone.

These stories could make chapters in a very random book. Now, I’m writing the next one called advertising. The capybaras are here just for moral support.